Stupid Lies

Right now, I feel like I wanted to climb at the top of the mountain and shout out loud how I hated my situation in life. Seems my life will be leading nowhere and that I will be stuck here for the rest of my life. A no win situation.

I want to isolate from the world and start a new life but it's not as easy as that:) Maybe God has plans. Maybe there's something I deserve better than what I am getting now. Maybe it's not the right time yet.

Maybe. Just maybe.

Nagging Mothers, Helpless Children

I wonder if nagging's a disease or just genetically inherited... My cousins spilled out their mother's 'not-so darkest' secrets mentioned about experiencing the same problem as mine over the years. I can attest to that... it’s so distressing, irritating, and sometimes it'll just make you numb.

If only I'm resourceful enough, I would research if there are any cures or somehow ways on how to prevent nagging... :) Counselling? Not a typical filipino thing.

I wish though that there will be a 'nag-aholic' breakthrough soon... it would be so much fun then and total silence.

Still, my mother won't be my mother without her nagging so I just have to live and learn with it for the sake of my kids. Remember, I am a mother too... a 'not-so-nagging' one-- just a bit ;)

Nagging Mothers, Helpless Children

I wonder if nagging's a disease or just genetically inherited... My cousins spilled out their mother's 'not-so darkest' secrets mentioned about experiencing the same problem as mine over the years. I can attest to that... it’s so distressing, irritating, and sometimes it'll just make you numb.

If only I'm resourceful enough, I would research if there are any cures or somehow ways on how to prevent nagging... :) Counselling? Not a typical filipino thing.

I wish though that there will be a 'nag-aholic' breakthrough soon... it would be so much fun then and total silence.

Still, my mother won't be my mother without her nagging so I just have to live and learn with it for the sake of my kids. Remember, I am a mother too... a 'not-so-nagging' one-- just a bit ;)

So Into Music This Time!

Okay so I've accepted the fact that Ken is not 'that' interested in playing the guitar, I can't force him to do that. I am learning it instead :) I must say I'm enjoying it. Who knows, I could be the next RockStar Supernova guitarist. LOL. I love music but definitely not into that kind of stuff. I'll tell you more about my progress in playing the guitar soon at the moment I can already play four chords and that's something for a beginner. Goodluck to me :)

Also, as I was surfing for some cool songs to download, I found a site where they play the kind of music that I like Soul, pop, electronical jazz and RnB they call it Indie911. Too bad you can't download it but u can listen to their whole digital album from different artists--for a change. Thumbs up!

The Rebirth

Eddie just rebuilt his new Truth site.. it took him a while to rebuild it cause he wants everything in order and work perfectly.

In the end, I must say, all the hard work, patience and staying up late at night is all worth it.

Check out the butterflies, the hot cyborg (which I told him it should be me ;) ) and the animation at the The rebirth. Absolutely cool beyond words!

For the Love of Ken and Popo...

I thought I will be able to join my Popo (Shih-tzu) at Dogster too bad it's too late... I was pressured to sell our precious baby just to provide my kids what they need for school and a guitar for my son.

I must confess, I have no regrets because I know I found her a home where she won't feel neglected and love and dogfood is abundant:) Plus, she will be reunited with her brother once again. In a way, I also made my son happy by getting him a nice guitar so he won't be anxious about where to get something to use next time.

At the moment, I feel ok but there's something inside me that's missing.. the thought of Popo will never be around to play with. My morning will never be the same without her playing with me and the kids before school, running around the house, scratching the couch, biting our clothes, chasing her tail etc.

Life is really full of tough choices... either way, I know that my decision somehow never upset anyone. Popo is reunited with her brother once again (in a different home though) and Ken felt good about having his new guitar. I hope this sacrifice will get my son more interested in learning new stuff.

My daughter is kinda funny, I know she was a bit jealous when I bought her brother a guitar.. She then demands a piano, then changed her mind and asked for a violin. Which ended up to electric sharpener. :) Kids!

We'll miss you, Popo!

Popo at her best

Looking through the eyes of love...

Nap time

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow...

Yesterday, I promised to be more organized and it was a success... I did all the stuff I needed to do under time management. I felt good about it though I have a bit of toothache which has been killing me for a couple of days or so.

Today is a failure. Woke up late, my kids were having breakfast already and I felt guilty cause today I wanted to prepare something heavy for them but I didn't. I haven't clean the house yet, fed the birds nor folded the laundry, I just watched tv and surfed the whole morning I think which is really really nonsense. But that ain't over yet, I will go to my mother's shop and I will bring with me my sewing kit and see if I can make a new bag again. I'll post about the bags soon. :)

Tomorrow, who knows? If I will suck again or not...

Peace!

One Good News

I got some great news... my loving mother said that I could open the shop if I promise to be responsible enough this time. Yayy! However it could also mean that I will have to sacrifice not going to the mall with my girlfriends and Nanay or getting laid back at home. That I will have to endure being with my mother 24/7 fulltime at the shop and inside our home. Yaiks! Generally though, she's cool and very thoughtful and I love her even if we always fight but when it comes to work.. there's no such thing as excuses. Sounds like Hitler, huh?

Things won't be easy once I get into it, I know that I can make it but the pressure of having my mother around and reprimand me things all the time will really be a torture, knowing my mother. But once I showed her I know what my responsibilities are then that's the time she will stop. I am never worried about running the business at all actually, it's more of her. Mother's can really be crazy sometimes. : Like me, I sometimes go crazy when my kids are around. But no matter what I will still always love them and them love me back.

Just like my mother and I. Always make each other crazy but still love one another.. in a different way. :)

My Very First Macro Shots

Never did I expect I would have such a fulfilling and exciting Sunday.. ever! These random shots say it all. I took the courage and tried taking this macros using Canon Digital Ixy 4.0 megapixels and it turned out not-so-bad.. at all for a first-timer like me ;)

My boyfriend, Eddie, was the first to see these photos and I must say he appreciate it especially this black and white butterfly... The delightful feeling it gave me encouraged me to still pursue photography in every way that I can.. and this is

my simple pleasure :)

Isn't it great? I hope so.

One thing i learned though in capturing these images, that I should bring a pen and paper with me so that i could best describe their names or some informations about my subject etc.

Trees that's Got Nothing to Do with My Post...

Must be the coffee that's keeping me up until now... So I've decided to try and write something for this blog for a 'change'. Sometimes, I think I am not tailored to write cause I really find it hard to begin a topic with and a bit worried about my grammar etc. but I do really want to share some stuff about me and all.

Anyway, since it seems that I find the guts to write once again, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those (who emailed me and some friends) who 'somehow' believed that I am capable of expressing and sharing my life to others and how they can relate themselves to it. I know I should have written this a long time but I guess this is the right time to better express and be thankful for the support and encouragement they have given me... Thanks everyone...

Nothing's new in my life except that my connection is a lot quicker than the usual. I'm already a broadband user, yayy! Also, my mother is having second-thoughts on trusting me to open a shop next to hers, she said she will lend me a certain amount of money to start a business with but with my lifestyle she said 'I can never make it'. How can I not make it? Just because I move slow and I don't have patience in running a shop doesn't mean I can never make it in business. That's just not fair. Anyway, no matter how I protest, still it won't do good but to accept the fact that I can never be a boutique owner something like that. Maybe it's not the right time yet.


Funny though cause before my mother changed her mind, I already knew exactly what to put in it like I would add some good lightings and three picture frames on the wall just above the wall clock and a mini cleopatra at the side of the shop just across my table. I would buy merchandise from Bangkok cause then only a few can do that in our town and it will be more than ok for sure. I just know cause I used to window-shop a lot and find great stuff over great deals and that's what I planned to do. But at the moment, it is just but a dream. I hope my mother can't resist me before she goes to Bangkok :)

Maybe you would be wondering what's the connection of this photo on my article for today... Well, don't ask me, I don't know either why it's there. I just feel like posting it, could be there's something about that tree that's reflecting on my personality. I'll try to find out.

But for now, I'm going to bed.

115 days to go and it's Christmas once again!!!

One Bizarre Anniversary

Eddie and I celebrated our first year anniversary yesterday. Yeah, it has been a year already without meeting but still we’re happy being together. Hopefully, if things get better we will be able to meet soon finally.
The funny thing here is, we just greeted each other happy anniversary 12 midnight his time and talked about cures for diseases and other forms of life on the outer space!!! Boy, isn’t it romantic? Lol.

Without any pretentions, I was really expecting he would, at least, say something about us being together etc. (Provided it’s our anniversary) Which didn’t turn that way in the end. I am just easy to please, those sweet words will do. Though it is understandable coz we can’t express much of our feelings as well as we’re thousand miles apart. So we just let it pass. That is one of the tough things being in a long-distance relationship. We can’t be too expressive in terms of actions, affections or tantrums etc.

When we fight? Oh! Either one of us just disappeared on air. But we always work things out after giving some time to breathe and think, that’s the good thing about us.

Anyway, when I think of all the anniversaries I had.. this one though is the oddest but cutest. It could be just because we’re apart and I know things like this will be much better when Eddie and I are together. I love you, babe!

Look How Fast They Grow...

Hmm.. aside from my kids, these are the ones that makes me busy and happy everyday. Adorable indeed. They're already a month and two days, teeth growing, beginning to eat solid foods and always follow me around.

What’s funny is they’re somehow just like me, can’t stay put in just one place. One minute they’re in their mother’s fence and next, they’re whining coz they can’t get their heads out of the bar. We haven't given them names as of yet but I always call them "Popo". I got that name from a cartoon series here but I forgot what's it called. I suggested the kids we call them Popo and Fifa but it's still under negotiation. Though in the end, I know I will win. :)

Master Plan: Pee all over the house
"Fifa" beginning to love being snapped

Speechless.. They're Just Cute

New Babies.. Pups I mean!

Two members of the family have arrived last 28th of May and we all were just as excited as their mother. Well, I am talking about my 7 year-old dog, Jaya who just gave birth to three pups but unfortunately the other one died because the water bag broke inside her womb...

We haven't decided yet on which name to give but I heard my kids have given them names already I just can't recall at the moment. Starting tonight I am going to post their weekly photos every Monday to see how fast they grow each week.

These are my pups about ten minutes after they were born At a week old, she just fits snuggly in my hands

Cute, as if they were hugging each other!

Don't Grow Up Too Fast!!!

eIt’s already June but the heat of the sun still feels like summer so today I just had a lazy day with my kids teasing each other ceaselessly. It was really fun though I remembered I still have something to do on my pc. In order not to be bothered, I enticed Kitty to be my secretary and pay her five pesos as a payment, which she apparently liked. Which ended to be a peaceful day for the three of us, of course.

Today, Rickie Mae, my best pal’s daughter celebrated her 10th birthday. Look how time flies, ten years back I was just carrying my best friend’s baby girl on my shoulders, changing her nappies and dress her like a little doll back in their old house when Abi and I were still neighbors. This little girl though is slowly turning into a fine young lady. Now, we lend each other’s sandals, check on new accessories we have got and even share the same clothes! Can you imagine that!

Last month, the man of my life, Ken also celebrated his 11th birthday. We didn’t threw a party just had a nice dinner together with my whole family. He enjoys it when I tell stories about him when he was still a baby or even before I gave birth to him. Like how he made me stay up until morning because he just won’t stop crying during the night, how I bathe him when he was small, that I still keep both his navel and his sister’s in my drawer etc.

I hate to admit it but eventually, my little ones will both grow up and won’t be playing with me like the way they used to. Makes me unhappy when I think of it. But that’s life! To me what’s important is I know that no matter what happens these kids love me regardless of my imperfection as a mother and their friend. And that bond cannot be shattered by just anyone. And I love them too genuinely with all my heart and soul. I know how time swiftly pass but please don’t grow too fast... selfish of me I know but not yet!

Me and Rickie after giving my opening prayer

Kitty joins the contest and said that Rickie is her 'cousin'. All these time, she thought Rickie is her cousin! I didn't know that, exhilirating!

Before I took this shot, she whispered to me something; "Mommy, howcome I never win all the contests that I joined?" I just told her that all the contestants were too big for her to win and she agreed and gave me this smile.

Ken can easily be amused with small stuff.. so do I!